Philly people: I know what you’re doing on the evening of Monday, June 10. When else can you get a five-course meal designed by one of the best chefs in Philadelphia while a guy who wrote chapters in two separate books about discovering masturbation reads to you? (Note: I will read only dinner-appropriate stuff at this event.) Full information below. Please call Ela at 267-687-8512 to make a reservation. This will be a really fun and funny event. And even if you hate me, the food’s gonna be rurrrrrrl good.
*****
Jason Mulgrew’s “236 Pounds of Class Vice President” comes to Chip Roman’s Ela
“… I did not have a vegetable that was not a potato, corn, or prefixed by ‘creamed’ or ‘cream of’ until college. A salad was something that came with dinner when you went out to eat and which you pushed to the side after you picked the Russian dressing-doused croutons from it.”
Chef Chip Roman and Author Jason Mulgrew share the common bond of coming of age at Philadelphia’s venerated St. Joe’s Prep, but while Jason has taken a salad-less route to becoming a celebrated blogger and New York Times bestselling author, those familiar with Chip’s history know he has mastered not just salad, but any type of menu he has ever tried his hand at writing. Together, they would like to invite you to take part in an evening of food, drink, and mildly inappropriate literature.
Monday, June 10, 2013 at 7:00 pm
Ela Restaurant
267-687-8512
3rd & Bainbridge, Philadelphia, PA
5 courses for $60 (excluding alcohol)
The evening will feature a menu designed by Chef Roman around Jason’s book “236 Pounds of Class Vice President” with Jason reading excerpts related to food, Philly, and that magically awkward time of being a teenager. It’s an opportunity to lend your support to two successful Philadelphians, eat some unforgettable food, and hob-nob with a notable, or at the very least, notorious author. Copies of the book will be available for purchase (and signing!) or can be bought in advance here.
There are only 60 seats available, so please call Ela Restaurant at the number listed above to reserve your spot!
My wife is trying to explain to me the whole “men’s wear” Tumblr phenomenon and I’m so confused and sad.
[insert gif of Seth Meyers saying “Really?]
My only goal, for this entire summer, is to use this binoculars to find or see two people fucking each other on a boat. That’s it. That’s all I ask for.
(Could be more than two, but there’s gotta be some effing out at sea.)
“Did you see that article on the Euro crisis in this week’s Economist?”
- No one at or watching the Indy 500
To be honest, I have no idea what Monsanto is. It’s, like, vegetables, right? So, not an issue for me.
Our air conditioners are in Philly and so we’re using fans to cool our apt and I feel like a fucking poor.
I got hit on by a random woman while taking my son to daycare this morning. She walked alongside me, coffee in hand, and said, “I kinda want to take a picture of you right now.” When I asked why, she said I was the perfect example: in a suit, briefcase on one shoulder, diaper bag on another, pushing a stroller. She added, “It’s a great look.” This coming after our day out on Saturday, when the smoke-show bartender at Marshall Stack (who is about a 14 on the 1-10 scale) chatted me up whenever I ordered drinks, telling me what a cute baby I had.
This morning marks, I believe, the third time in my life I’ve ever been hit on. If it can happen for me, it can happen for anyone.
Therefore, single friends: Patrick is available for hire. For a low flat rate, I will throw in all the cute accessories and give you all sorts of helpful nuggets to drop into conversation with women, including but not limited to:
- “I thought I knew love. But then he came along, and, I mean, it’s just…wow.”
- “He really seems to like you! Patrick, can you say hello to the beautiful woman?”
- “He’s so cute in the tub, splashing around and laughing and having a blast. You should see it.”
- “Yes, he is very playful and happy, and also very smart. Obviously, he’s cute, too! So strange that such a bum like me made a baby like this, right?”
Please inquire within. Reasonable rates.
Yesterday, Patrick turned three months old. On Friday night, he went to bed at 10pm, woke up in the middle of the night to eat for fourteen minutes, and then didn’t wake up again until 9:30am. We then took him into Manhattan for a seven hour visit (including a stop at a bar, of course) and he was completely cooperative.
Happy three months, little boy. Thank you for being so good and easy. Because daddy and mommy still need their beers.
